I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
