So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
