Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
