Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize