They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
