SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
