I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
