Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
