using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
