i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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