Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
