She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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