yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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