I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
