Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
