I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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