I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
