Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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