Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
