Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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