I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
