im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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