I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
