oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize