ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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