It's like God shit irony all over that family
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
