On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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