He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
