there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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