So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she peed on how many people?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Mom said you looked used
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
