nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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