kristin has been a bad kristin
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
