Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
