The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
