Please, let me fuck your mom
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
