Nicole vs. Life
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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