Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
