Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
