why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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