Your face is a jimmy john
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
