I feel like I'm in dance class right now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
