Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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