id be glad to
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
