Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
