i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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