i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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