Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
