I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
