I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
