at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
