Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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