I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
