i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
