so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
