I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
