just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
